Numb Warrior?
by Naarastiikeri
Summary: Zelgius, Begnion's most famous general, a brave without feelings, considered as fearless. But is he really the numb warrior he seems to be?
1. Left Alone

**Left Alone**

_Alone._

Never before he felt the meaning of it like that.

He sat all alone in the darkness of the armory. Just thinking about them. The cold breezes trying to intensify the impression of being hated by anyone, was something he couldn't feel anymore. He simply couldn't understand.

'_Why had they left? Why didn't they had the time to say "Farewell"?'_

He thought they were not like all of the other humans. He was thinking of them as family. They were the first people he had ever really trusted. But it was a mistake. Even so… some more years and he would have to leave anyways. The shame of the cursed blood within his veins… He could hide the mark but he couldn't hide how slowly he ages. If they had known the truth about him, they would have hated him just like everyone else before. But somehow… they were different.

'_What if…?'_

He stopped had left and nothing could have changed their decision.

He wasn't sure what he should do now. How could life go on like nothing has happened? They were all he had.

Words full of kindness… A friendly hug of Elena… A hand helping him get up after being defeated during training… He sighted. It was the happiest time of his life. One single tear was sliding down his cheek. As he noticed it, he fastly wiped it away.

He was stronger than that. He was left alone by so many other people before. It wasn't anything new to him. The laguz he met during his journey for someone like him ignored him. A few times they just said "Parentless" and left him. But they did never attack. Sometimes he wished they had. Just to be not ignored.

It was easy to hide among beorc. The mark on his back was easy to hide. He couldn't come close to anyone but that wasn't a problem. If he kept on moving no one would ever notice.

But he had trusted them, he did come close to them. And he had loved her. More than anyone else.

Once the general left to a mission, he had stayed there with her. He was there to protect her. He had done it because he wanted to do his mentor a favor. Nevertheless… Right now he wished he had fought on his side.

She was so beautiful. It was hard to resist his desire but in the end it hadn't worked. In the beginning it was just a kiss… but it was enough to make him loving her. And it ended in a night with her. She wanted it as much as he wanted. But after all it was a mistake. A big was his general's wife. He didn't wanted to hurt him so he acted like ever after he arrived back. Sometimes if he was alone with her and nobody could have watched them they could be themselves. It wasn't often but both of them enjoyed this times just for them alone.

His eyes burned from unshed tears. A cry left his throat. A cry full of despair and pain. A cry like a wounded animal. He couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He loved her and she was gone. He will never see her again.

'_Never,'_ it halled within his head.

He struggled against the tears making him blind. He will never let himself suffer again that much. He will forget them. Somehow. After all they were like everyone else.

He took a deep, wiped away the tears, calmed himself down and stand up to live his life like he has done before he had met them.


	2. Nightmare

**Nightmare**

It was a nice he met Sephiran years ago he never left his side for long. Zelgius wanted to protect him. It was foolish. He knew that. No one would have thought that the mage could protect him if really necessary. He seemed so fragile. Inside, however, he was strong. Stronger than anybody else. Stronger than some would admit.

They made their way through an ocean of trees and finally got in the near of a little village in Gallia not far from the border to Crimea. Zelgius didn't know where their went or why. But he didn't care as long as he wasn't alone.

Suddenly a scream tore the air apart. No matter how many years have past he always could remember this voice. Without any further thinking he started running. He ran with a speed no ordinary beorc could ever reach. At this time he didn't care if someone might find out his secret. His only goal was to protect her.

When he reached the village he abruptly stopped and couldn't believe what he saw.

The ground was covered with blood. Everywhere laid corpses.

Zelgius swallowed and closed his eyes. He knew that something terrible had happened. And that it wasn't over yet.

"What happened here?" he asked his friend who finally reached his side. Pure dismay appeared in his eyes but he stayed silent.

Zelgius took a deep breath and went further.

_It's impossible to hide before the truth._

His body was shaking as he went through the streets.

In the distance he could see a woman laying on the ground. Around her a puddle of blood.

He screamed in horror.

Abruptly he opened his eyes. Anything around him was dark. Slowly he remembered where he was. He sat up, stroke about his face and said relieved to himself, "It was all a dream."

Nightmares haunted him for month after it happened. Sometimes he still woke up in the death of the night but it was to endure.

He let himself fell back into his pillow. Thoughts running through his head. Every time he asked himself the same question.

_Could I have prevented it?_

The answer, however, would never change. There was nothing he could have done to stop the man from killing his wife. His former general's skill was far superior to himself. Maybe he would have got killed as well. He often wished that but Zelgius couldn't commit suicide. Once he tried but his best, and only, friend rescued him and since then he watched more than ever over his faithful devotee.

Suddenly he was back in Gallia and the nightmare moved on.

Tears flood his eyes as he slowly approached to the blue haired woman. When he recognized who the man was who laid next to his secret love he asked with a slightly

asked, "Did he kill her?" A voice full of fear and sorrow. A voice he hardly recognized as his own.

Sephiran just stood there but that was enough for Zelgius to calm down. He look around in disbelieving to make her through a miracle alive. His gaze felt on a little blue-haired boy who stood a little removed of the occurrence. He look kind of familiar to the knight and his fearful eyes starred at the death-looking bodies.

Zelgius tried to make out what the familiarity about this boy was. He looked pretty much like Elena. It was her son that was for sure. But his eyes… They were so known… and strange at the same time. It seemed like all of his emotions laid within them. And their colour was mostly a dark blue but you still could see a green glimmer.

"Father! Mother!" a little girl screamed terrified.

Zelgius' thoughts went from the boy to her. She was younger than her brother. Maybe three years old, at best four. Her eyes were blue as well but much paler and without a shimmer of another colour. The similarity to both of her parents, Elena and Gawain, couldn't be denied. And she look cute. Just like all small children. In a way Zelgius regretted that he never would have one. It was less because the only person he had ever loved laid dead next to him but rather the fact that his children might be branded as well. He simply couldn't bear it if someone beloved would suffer because of his fault.

"Are they asleep?" the girl turned to the men.

Zelgius' heart went heavy. How could you tell a small girl that her father just killed her mother? Would a child even understand that?

Fortunately Sephiran had an answer, "They're very tired, child. Let's not disturb them."

"But it's cold out. If we let them sleep here they surely get ill. Ike, you have to help me to take them home."

When Ike still didn't respond Zelgius decided to make himself at least a little helpful."I'll take them home. Will you show me the way?"

"Yeah. Come with me," she shouted while she ran a little away. In a close distance she stopped and looked impatient at the man. Zelgius couldn't hold back a little smile. While he took up his former mentors body he had to think of how much he actually wished to have a family and ended up in a sigh. It was his destiny to be alone.

He stepped into the house where the girl was already waiting. He laid her father on the couch and stepped away to make space for the child who just walked again into the room with a blanket she could barely carry. It was touching how the girl cared for her father. But right when she was finished with covering her father with the blanket she ran quickly outside. Zelgius could nothing but follow her.

"Hey! That's my mother's medallion! No one's supposed to see it!" the girl shouted and took the medallion right out of Sephiran's hands. As well Sephiran and as Zelgius expected something terrible to happen but nothing changed.

"You… You're unchanged." Sephiran look confused at her.

She didn't pay attention to him. Probably she was angry at the sage for taking her mother's medallion up. She turned back to Zelgius and remembered him, "You said you take my mother home, too."

Without any complaining he obeyed and carried her mother into her house. Inside it he laid his love on a bed and looked at her. She hasn't changed in these eight years they have been separated. She was still as beautiful as on the first day he had seen her. But she was dead. He tried to be strong but he couldn't suppress a tear.

As the girl noticed that she asked, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I… just cut myself a little while ago and now it really hurts bad," Zelgius lied.

Right at the moment when she wanted to ask him something they heard a scream coming from outside. The girl immediately ran to see what has happened. The blue-haired man followed her just one moment later after he had took one last view at Elena.

Outside he saw Ike holding on to his sister and screaming. She wasn't pleased by that. Her brother hurt her and she whined, "Ike, let go." But he didn't seem to hear her.

"What happened?" he asked his friend.

"Give me a moment," was his only respond.

Sephiran casted his staff at Ike and at this moment he started screaming even more but suddenly anything was silent and the children fell asleep.

"What did you do to him?" Zelgius asked worried.

"This poor boy saw everything. I know that I shouldn't be doing something like this, but I could not leave this memory to haunt him."

Zelgius' compassion for Ike only grew with these words. It's hard enough to lose someone of your family but to see hoe the one gets killed is something… something you wonder about how a child should handle this. At least he can't remember this.

There wasn't anything useful to do so he wanted to carry the siblings home as well. One moment before he picked up the girl Sephiran shouted, "Stop!" The knight didn't touch the girl and starred confused at his friend. And the one explained himself, "She still holds on to the medallion. I guess you don't to touch it so you should be careful. One disaster is more than enough." Sephiran picked the girl up and carried her away.

Zelgius followed him a moment later with Ike in his arms. "What will you do with the medallion?"

"The girl seems safe from its influence. We will leave it with her, for the time being."

He wasn't pleased by this answer but he stayed silent. Elena and many other people got killed. The children survived but this was more coincidence. Would they have that much luck a second time?

When the knight laid Ike on the bed he noticed that the boy was wearing gloves. That wasn't at all surprising. Probably his father taught him how to use a sword and wore them protect his hands from injuries. More shocking was the fact that on his left hand his skin had some strange pattern which surely were mostly covered by the glove. It looked like a brand…

Zelgius woke up for the second time this night.

_It was just a dream._ He tried to calm himself. _Something in my mind just mixed up._

He knew for sure that nobody of Elena's nor Gawain's ancestors had been a laguz. The worrying thing about all of this was that Zelgius could remember many things. Even after years he could recall most of the details. So he hoped that his mind was just fooling him.

He couldn't sleep anymore so he stood up and went to the window. In the far distance he could already see the dawn. It was beautiful and for a while he just stood there and watched the sun as it slowly raised behind the horizon.

After some time he pulled his gaze from it and sighted while he get dressed.

It was going to be a long day.


End file.
